The Many Deaths of Fang the Birdkid
by Vera Amber
Summary: My Life4Fang oneshot. The flock, who're running away from Flyboys, stumble upon a Life4Fang convention. The FANGirls kill the Flyboys with minkles, herring, skittles, etc. Then Fang dies 13- er, 12 times. Rated T because of paranoia. Oneshot. R&R?


**This is my oneshot for Life4Fang Day. I got the idea for it while reading St. Fang of Boredom's MangaFlock... Hope you like it. :)**

**Disclaimer: Vera doesn't own Maximum Ride. JP does. Vera doesn't own Charlie the Unicorn. Someone random YouTuber does. Vera doesn't own Life4Fang Day. Lily does, although Vera is great friends with Lily, and is certain Lily won't mind loaning her the rights for a few days.. Vera doesn't own- how about this? She doesn't own anything other than the plot, Fang pwushies, the term "gaemo", the minkles, and her OCs.**

We ran into this big room, Flyboys on our tail. Everyone in the HUGE room - which I realized was a convention center - stopped what they were doing and looked up at us. About 98% of them were girls.

There were all wearing T-shirt that said "Life4Fang Day! SAVE THE GAEMO BIRDKID!" or "Life4Fang Day! Fang deserves to live!" or even "Life4Fang Day! GO TO HELL, JAMES PATTERSON!"

Just seconds later, the flyboys ran in. Some girl jumped up onto a table covered in what appeared to be... Fang pwushies!? What the heck!?

"LOAD THE JELL-O CATAPULT OF DOOM!" the girl shouted.

Suddenly, all of them (the girls) started running around. Another girl jumped up on the table. "MINKLES! DESCEND FROM THE HEAVENS!"

Hundred and hundreds of little furry creatures that looked like a mix between a mink and a ferret magically appeared, and started raining down.

The girl that had yelled for the Jell-O Catapult of Doom suddenly started throwing herrings at people. "GATHER YOUR WEAPONS!"

Yet another girl jumped up on the table. She started passing out these HUGE guns that looked like they were full of skittles. The girl that had called on the minkles grabbed one of the minkles by the tail, and started twirling the minkle in a way that made her seem _very_ dangerous.

A fifth girl jumped up on the table. She shouted, "FlockUpdates, UNITE!"

Another girl and one of the few guys jumped up on the table with her. Some other girls jumped up on the table, as well.

Suddenly, a bunch of people were shouting out names.

"JANICA!"

"RISA!"

"VALENCIA THE FIRST!"

"LILY!"

"DELILAH!"

"JAVA!"

"SPIFFY!"

"MAHONEE!"

"GHOST!"

"JUSTIN!"

"CHRISTINA!"

"BRISSA!"

"ARIEL!"

"SCARLETT!"

"POOKY!"

"STACEY!"

"DOG-MAX!"

"CHICAGO!"

The girls all looked at each other. The girl with the minkles said, "Eh, let's the call on all of the OCs."

All of them yelled, "OCs!"

A MILLION people ran into the room.

The girls on the table yelled, "CHAAAAARGE!"

They jumped off the table, and started attacking the Flyboys, along with everyone else in the room. I mean, everyone else in the room attacked the Flyboys, not the girls attacked everyone else in the room.

One of them ran over and started wrapping Fang in bubble wrap. She winked at me. "Safety first. This is, after all, a Life4Fang convention."

The girl with the skittles started shooting at Flyboys. They fell to the ground as those little candies smacked their faces. Who knew skittles were so deadly?

The girl with the minkles started spinning her minkle like nun-chucks, destroying every Flyboy in sight. The other minkles where biting Flyboys, and it must HURT, because the Flyboys were dropping like flies.

The girl with the herring and the catapult was viciously attacking Flyboys with her herring, and she shouted, "FIRE!"

Some short guy who, oddly, reminded me of a hobbit, pulled a sword out of nowhere, and cut this piece of string. A _giant_ wad of Jell-o flew through the air, and crushed few dozen flyboys.

Suddenly, one of the girls started up a chant that quickly spread throughout the room. "SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS!" "SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS!" "SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS!" etc.

It didn't take long for all of the Flyboys to be destroyed. The flock and I didn't even have to lift a finger.

---

Suddenly, a stray Flyboy part flew through the air and cut Fang's head off. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, a herring whacked Fang on the face, and he was killed. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, a girl wearing big, black boots, an awesome leather jacket, and worn jeans walked up to Fang. She spun on her heel and roundhouse kicked him in the side of his head, effectively breaking his neck. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, Lissa leaped out of the shadows and beat Fang over the head with a shovel. His skull caved in. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, a rope flew down from the ceiling, wrapped around Fang's neck, and strangled him. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, thirteen - lucky number! - tigers ran out of the shadows, descended upon Fang, and devoured him. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, thousands of little woodpeckers were flying around the room. They all zoomed towards Fang, and began pecking his head, shoulders, and face. He screamed like a little girl and fell to the ground, dead. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, Fang popped an entire Snickers bar into his mouth, and choked on it. He fell to the ground, again, dead. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, Nudge ran up and poked Fang's nose repeatedly. "S'NOT FUNNY!" she screamed. "S'NOT!" **(A/N: **_**Matter over Mind**_** reference.)** Then she accidentally poked him in the eye, and he died. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, some guy on a pogo stick pogo sticked over to Fang, and pogo sticked onto his foot. He, Fang, squealed like a little girl, and fell to the ground. Then the pogo sticker pogo sticked onto Fang's skull, and killed him. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, a very poisonous-looking snake slithered out of a crack in the wall and bit Fang. He slid to the ground, dead. "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, the ceiling crashed down on Fang's head, instantly breaking him into big chunks. ...weird wording... "NO!" I and all of the girls screamed in unison.

---

Suddenly, three little pigs popped up out of a hole in the ground that had magically appeared, ran over to Fang, and started oinking at him. Fang screamed in unison with no one, "NO!"

We all stared at him like he was crazy, which he totally was.

**-grin- It was AWESOME fun killing Fang 13 times. And yes, I realize the irony of killing him 13 times on Halloween. :D Well, okay, he really only died _12_ times... but still!**

**By the way, the Fang-getting-eaten-by-lions thing was Saint's (St. Fang of Boredom) idea, I just changed it to tigers because of when she flamed herself, saying "May your house never be safe from tigers!"... Yeah...**

**And I LURVED the ending. :D**

**R&R?**


End file.
